After months of work, and with the help of some amazingly talented friends, we now have a wedding video to show the world! We hope you enjoy reliving this day with us <3
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Friends, Family, Perfect Strangers…
Jack here. This blog post has been a long time coming, but please know that we haven’t stopped thinking about you. Married life has been wonderful so far and we currently have no plans on terminating the relationship anytime soon #squadgoals Charlotte has been an amazing town for our marriage. It’s kind of like if a big city and Durham had a baby (if you can picture that). We live pretty close to the downtown area, so we often take long walks into the city together. Annie just left for Tempe, AZ a few days ago and will be starting her MFA program at ASU soon. It is an exciting time!
But enough about us, let’s talk about you. Annie and I just wanted to take a moment to sincerely thank all of you for supporting this blog and celebrating our wedding with us. Whether you’re a family member who was at our wedding or a fan of the blog who we’ve never met before--please know that we love you dearly and that you matter to us.
Don’t get your hopes up. This has nothing to do with Lemonade. We just love that song so much.
But now that we have your attention, let’s get in formation. (Okay, last one!)
The countdown (#four #sorry #iaintsorry) to wedded bliss is no longer months, but weeks. WEEKS. Are you pumped? Are you???
Our days have become a blur of seating charts and glitter and cha cha real smooth. So let’s talk about something silly. Let’s talk about wedding invitations.
People know me by Jack. But one could say that they’re living a lie. Or maybe I’m living a lie? We both are. A little more than 28 years ago, my parents proudly named me Jezekiel Sonn Bodeta Vitaliz. I’m not kidding. That’s my actual legal name. And yes, I’ve wanted to change it for as long as I can remember. Well guess what? When I got married, that wish finally came true. But first, let me give you a little bit of backstory.
Friends, Romans, country(wo)men, lend me your ears.
Recently, Jack graced us with his thoughts on our spending philosophy. It’s a great read, so check it out here if you haven’t already. This week, I’m tasked with examining something very important to me: how we think about the roles of women and men when it comes to getting married.
Here’s the rub. Weddings aren’t really my jam. I mean, yeah I’m on Pinterest. And sure, I’ve spent more than one night binging Say Yes To The Dress. And of course the PB+J Wedding episode of The Office still makes me cry. I’m not a monster. But I can count the number of weddings I’ve been to on one hand. I can count the number of weddings I’ve been in on one finger. (I was maybe 6, a flower girl, and my mom tells me I was a mess that day. Sorry, Aunt Teresa.)
Honestly, the whole process of courtship, loveship, and marriage has always made me a little uncomfortable. I think there are too many unspoken expectations on what men and women should or shouldn’t do when it comes to falling in love. The check dance. The jewelry hints. The backroom deals. The mustache twirling. I mean, wouldn’t it be easier if we all just spoke our minds?
Hey Party People,
Jack speaking. I’ve been tasked with writing a blog about something I really care about even though Annie is clearly the superior writer. I shall do my best to stick to what I know, which isn’t a lot. Here’s what I do know: I freaking love weddings. There’s just something about getting dressed up with all of your friends, celebrating love, and dancing the night away that always puts me in my happy place. When Annie and I got engaged, the thrill was even greater because we got to call all of the shots on how we would spend the most magical night of our lives.
Quite honestly, we’d already given it a lot of thought. What I loved about our planning process was that we came into it knowing that we were hell-bent on doing things our way. Annie hoped to undo the misogynistic patterns that have plagued standard wedding traditions for generations (classic Annie), while I hoped to examine something else that I found fascinating: how modern couples spend for weddings. Did you know that the average couple spends around $26,000? That’s right -- $26,000 just to get married. With that money, you can buy the new Toyota Rav4. You can also use that money for a down payment on a $700,000 house. I think it’s also worth noting that $26,000 was the average yearly income in 2008.
All that money...for just ONE night of partying.
Think about that. Doesn’t that sound wrong? I don’t mean to judge anyone for spending that kind of cash (live your truth!), but for Annie and me, that just doesn’t resonate with our values as a couple. I get it, a wedding is supposed to be your absolute special day. And in theory, you only marry once in your life, so dropping $26K might be appropriate for such a tremendous occasion. But does it really have to be this way? Does it take this much money to actually have an awesome wedding? Annie and I are led to believe that it does not.
It’s easy to believe that your best memories are your most perfect ones. After becoming engaged, we’ve discovered that quite often, the opposite is true. Imperfections have an interesting way of leaving footprints in your memory that make a richer story. When we look back on our engagement, there were a lot of perfect things. The leaves were immaculately fall-colored, the weather was pristine, and the excitement was palpable. But who cares, right? We don’t really look back on those details. It’s the imperfections that make our story worth telling and uniquely ours.
I (Jack) still remember the first time I saw Crabtree Falls on a hiking trip with friends. As we got to the top, I saw the most breath-taking view of mountains and trees that I had ever seen. My initial thought was, “This view will be incredible in the fall.” My second thought was, “This is where I’ll propose to Annie.”
Annie & Jack
Love. Marriage. Teamwork. Art. Offsetting the patriarchal footprint. These are some of the things we're thinking about.