The minute after Jack and I got married, we left our town, our family, and our support system behind. Starting new jobs in new places, we felt uprooted in so many ways. But really, this was what I had always dreamed about doing.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted the adventure of moving somewhere far away. When I was in college, I spent a summer interning in the Bay Area. I traipsed around San Francisco and marveled at all things happening around me. I remember watching a one-man band performing in the street. I remember eating the best Pad Thai of my life. It was so different from home. I loved it.
I fantasized about moving there for real. There was part of me that wanted to leave my whole life in North Carolina behind and start over. It would be so exciting. I imagined myself in the future, worldly and grey, reflecting on how I started with nothing--and now look.
Last year, I got my wish. I started grad school at Arizona State--2,000 miles from home. I knew it was going to be great. Finally...the adventure I had been craving for so long. And it has been great, but it has also been really painful.
Members and Allies of The Millennial Marriage Movement,
Jack here. This week, I’m being honest as hell. You’ll learn some things about me today that I’ve never been public about, so buckle up. Make sure you don’t have any small children with you and prepare yourself for the darker side of #ANNIEGOESJACK.
I’ll start off by saying that I find it really ironic that as the co-founder of a millennial marriage blog, I haven’t always truly believed in marriage. I always knew that marriage was something that I’d inevitably do, but mostly because it was a status symbol that I needed for my own personal security. If I’m really being honest with you, I didn’t (and to some extent, still don’t) quite understand how lifelong partnership works. How can two people stay together forever? When I think about my favorite foods, movies, music, [insert anything I really love], it’s tough to picture myself doing those things forever without getting bored.
“Jack, you’re right. You’re absolutely right. If this were a court of law, I would side with you every time. But life isn’t a court of law. And from what I see, your need to be right is killing your partner’s spirit. So it really doesn’t matter how right you are because it’s not serving the best interest of your relationship.”
I remember hearing those words during a therapy session some time ago. When I first heard this, I was ambivalent. Half of me thought: “But I’m entitled to justice! People have to follow me if I’m on the right side of things!” Though the other (more convincing) half thought: "What good is being right when you're alone?"
Hey Friends, Annie here.
Jack and I watch a lot of television. Name a TV show, and it’s more than likely that we’ve seen at least a few episodes. Probably more. Jokes from How I Met Your Mother were one of the first things that brought us together. Even on our honeymoon, we spent a few nights bingeing The OA on Netflix.
As they say on Master of None, we really are living in the golden age of television. But, balancing our Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and HBO subscriptions can be a dangerous game. There are times when we’ll spend an entire night watching episode after episode, eyes glazed, barely grunting to acknowledge each other. As my mom used to say, too much time in front of the tube will melt your brain (and maybe your relationship, I might add).
Annie & Jack
Love. Marriage. Teamwork. Art. Offsetting the patriarchal footprint. These are some of the things we're thinking about.